How to understand that you are just being used. If a man does not love, but uses. He speaks but does not demonstrate

When a man uses a girl, it's an unhealthy relationship. If you feel that your beloved boyfriend is showing heightened attention to you only at certain times, this may be evidence that he is not disinterested in relation to you. We bring to your attention an article from which you will find out if your man is using you.

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1. You pay for two all the time

His salary did not appear on the card on time, he forgot his wallet, then he bought medicine for his mother, then he spent everything he had for a gift for a friend, right? And even if your expenses are small - well, two hamburgers instead of one, and you ride a taxi together, and you live in your apartment, it is logical for you to pay your utility bills yourself. But, dear, even if your income is more, this is not a reason to always and everywhere open your wallet! If you pay for a man all the time, definitely, he uses you!

2. You temporarily support him with finances

Based on the previous point, if you have such a relationship, it is logical that you give him money for pocket money as well. Oh, he has temporary difficulties, he was fired, he is writing a dissertation, he is in search of himself and he has no time for work? Of course, it is more convenient to take the money that is carefully offered to him. Remember - never, under any circumstances, you should not give your money to a man! Firstly, it simply kills his masculine essence, and secondly, the world is full of men who will gladly take care of you, not to mention themselves.

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3. He communicates with you when he needs something

You often can't get through to your man? He is constantly busy, he does not want to go to the theater, on a day off to go out of town too, but as soon as he needs something, does he immediately appear? This is a clear sign that he is manipulating you.

4. He becomes passionate and affectionate at certain times.

Sad to admit, men often fall in love when their libido demands an outlet. Then he remembers that you are his woman, and, of course, on this “occasion” he must obey his passion. Manipulation through sex is disgusting - and when a man does it, it is doubly unpleasant. It's up to you whether to succumb to his spell and allow you to be used, or still find the strength to break off such an unworthy relationship.

5. You are always to blame

Does your man accuse you of ruining his mood? Says it's your fault that he can't find a job? Are you always to blame for your fights? Is it your fault that he doesn't want to have sex with you? So this is an ordinary manipulator, into his garden!

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6. He never buys you anything.

Do you often buy him gifts, but he doesn't give you anything? Or once a year on March 8, he brings a rose and makes a long speech on the topic that large bouquets are vulgarity and window dressing, but one flower will say more about his feelings than 25 roses? He definitely needs something from you, but he is not going to give all his best in response.

7. He doesn't look after you.

He never comes to get you to work, does not go shopping with you, does not help in cleaning the apartment, but at the same time assures that he cannot live without you? Definitely not - after all, probably, he needs you for something. But definitely not in order to take care of you, as a man should take care of a woman.

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8. He pays no attention to your feelings.

Your man is not interested in how you feel, what bothers you, what problems do you have? Does he not notice and does not want to notice how he offends you with his behavior? This is another clear sign that he is using you.

Is it possible to say unequivocally about a change in behavior if a man does not love a woman? What are the signs that a man has cooled down?

As a rule, women with low self-esteem and a lot of free time are thinking about how to understand that a person does not love you. But not only: sometimes some warning signs can make any woman doubt the feelings of her man.

In contact with

How do you know that a man doesn't like you? By the gestures, one can guess about his indifference, because the body language has not yet been canceled. If a man does not want a woman, signs of this will not be long in coming. But keep in mind that these signs do not always work correctly, and should be evaluated along with other nuances.

To do this, pay attention to him:

• eyes;
• lips;
• arms;
• feet.

If, during a conversation, he strives to look through a woman or around, this can indirectly indicate that he does not love her. And constantly glancing at your watch is a sure sign of wanting to leave as soon as possible.

Still, such a man will be with a woman constantly answering messages on the phone, sitting on social networks. The easy distraction of a man in this situation is a sure sign of indifference or neglect towards a woman.

Pay attention to his smile. A sign that he doesn't like a woman is an insincere smile. It involves exclusively the facial muscles around the mouth. But it is clear that the eyes "do not smile" - wrinkles do not appear, eyebrows do not rise. The sudden appearance and abrupt end of a smile is also a sign of pretense. And hypocrites rarely love.

Also, the lack of sympathy for a woman is indicated by the “closed pose”. The woman's arms are intertwined, the legs are crossed. There is a feeling that he is ready to furiously defend his personal space.

This sign is unreliable, because a man can be elementary cold. And don't be fooled by wide pupils! If a young man drank coffee and the room is dark enough, then the woman is clearly not to blame for this, because this sign is also doubtful.

In how to understand that a man does not like you, a banal observation of his attitude towards you will help. If he doesn't love you, the behavioral signs are as follows:

• he doesn't spend time with you;
• you are always the initiator of a meeting, except for those cases when he needs something;
• he is ashamed of you in public;
• a man becomes isolated and nervous when you are in the same company.

Why doesn't a man want a woman?

If you are in the mood to dig deeper, you can think about why a man does not want a woman. We have already analyzed the signs, but we can talk about the reasons for a long time and tediously.

Generally speaking, because a woman does not satisfy his needs. After all, if not analyzing what he lacks?

It's not just about sex, although it's a very important aspect of a relationship. The need for sex is normal and natural for both men and women. People generally love sex. However, if a man only needs him, this is a bad sign - you have chosen a superficial teenage male. But if you are a gorgeous hostess and a smart interlocutor, but your sex is not going well, do not be surprised if you notice the aforementioned warning signs behind it.

Communication between a man and a woman is also important. You can be a goddess in bed, but what's the point if in the intervals between intercourse you cannot even glue the semblance of a conversation with each other? If you have radically different tastes and interests, which is accompanied by a reluctance to delve into each other's affairs, it is not surprising that his need for communication remains unsatisfied.

The difference of interests is not a sign of the impossibility of a relationship, on the contrary! If you love different things, you can exchange experiences and impressions, teach each other. It is precisely about the devil-may-care attitude. Nobody likes self-centered people.

The need for care and support is also important, as everyone comes home to rest and lick their wounds. If, instead of an adequate woman, the husband is met at home by a toothy hysterical woman, it is not surprising that he is tired of such a life. Who loves that?

If a woman loves to arrange a showdown for her husband every night, warning signs are not far off. Should you always be kind and flexible? Depending on the appropriateness of these expressions of care. How to understand what the husband no longer loves: a tsunami at home or a boring appendage to furniture? You yourself clearly know better.

What if he doesn't like it, but enjoys it?

It all depends on the stage of development of a woman as a person and on her priorities. If a man does not love, but uses, what to do?

There are two options. Or stay with a man who does not love, or leave him. Remember that until a woman makes a clear choice, she will be in limbo, a sign of which will be:

• constant anxiety;
• anxiety;
• dissatisfaction with your own life;
• health disorders (as a rule, these are psychosomatic diseases such as arterial hypertension, neuroses).

These signs will help you understand that it is time to change something. Yes, and that he doesn't love you. Therefore, the first task is to decide.

If you know that a man no longer loves you as a woman, but is with you for selfish purposes, then, of course, you have the right to come to terms with this. You can explain this by love, habit, common children - it's your business. But remember that if inside you there is a feeling from the category “oh, I’m so unhappy, my man doesn’t love me and uses me, and I’m so heroic that I decided to be with him for the sake of ...”, you accept the role of a victim.

This is one of the variants of psychological vampirism and a sign of infantile behavior. Such signs usually do not end well. On the other hand, if you are sincerely satisfied with this "mutual use", there is nothing wrong with that.

And if you do not intend to endure it, if you want more and you are ready to develop further, then just leave it. Do not try to find excuses for yourself and do not be afraid to take the first step. If a man uses a woman, then there is nothing much to lose.

Signs of a woman's dependence on a man easily become rubbish if you pull yourself together and start taking care of yourself.

Does he make money? So what's the matter, start earning yourself. Sex? If he doesn’t love you, it’s solid mechanics, nothing emotional. Children? If you are a mature person, you will show your children your family with love, and not with destructive relationships, therefore you will find them a sincere and honest father. Gradually, you yourself will stop wondering how to understand that a man does not like you, because you will not be so worried about it.

How to understand that your husband no longer loves you?

As a rule, bored women are tormented by the question "How to understand that your husband does not love you?" If this question arose in principle, then, most likely, somewhere inside the woman understood perfectly well that her partner had cooled off.

Now she is looking for more reliable signs in order to present this whole matter to her husband in the form of a claim. Signs that the husband does not love do not differ from the general ones mentioned above.

A ? The question is difficult if you still prefer to look at it through rose-colored glasses and not see the obvious. Many women stubbornly refuse to see a flaw in their partner, so as not to be lonely. So it seems that it is difficult for a woman to determine that life situation if a man does not love, but uses.

The signs of a selfish attitude are quite striking:

• he turns to you only when he needs something from you;
• he avoids the promises you demand from him;
• he is in no hurry to help you, even if you need it and it is important;
• he gives you gifts, expecting something in return;
• he manipulates your feelings to get his way.

The most convenient feelings and character traits for manipulation include:

• compassion;
• a pity;
• shame;
• self-doubt and notoriousness;
• fear (loneliness, poverty, etc.).

If you notice that your partner is appealing to your deep complexes, it is best to send him to hell! It is very dangerous to deal with such people.

Let's get back to the question itself. If out of boredom you are wondering how to understand that your husband no longer loves you, then your finest hour has come. Do something! First of all, for yourself and for yourself. If you actively develop, then you will not have the time and basis for this kind of thinking.

Useful video

Why doesn't a man want sex? Until recently, such a situation was nonsense for you, but today more and more husbands do not want sex with their wives ... What to do about it? After all, no one wants to hear "I do not want you" addressed to them. The video will help to understand this problem:

Conclusion

1. Before the question of how to understand that a man does not love you, pay attention to yourself. If in your life this topic arises from banal boredom, it would be best to take care of yourself and develop.
2. If there are warning signs, pay attention to his gestures, facial expressions, behavior in your presence.
3. How to understand that a man doesn't love you, but uses you? According to the correspondence between his words and actions and the disinterestedness of one or another of his impulses.

Loves or uses? Any relationship between people, including between a man and a woman, is a kind of exchange: we give something and receive something in return.

But sometimes it happens that relationships begin to resemble a one-way road: we invest, we share and sacrifice, and in return ... silence ...

The situation when a man simply uses a woman is so common that, perhaps, most of the fair sex could tell more than one personal story on this topic. Smart, beautiful, wealthy, having a choice - and suddenly in the trap of a "vampire", only sucking resources from them. Why is this happening?

Falling in love and romantic moods is not the best angle to take a good look at the chosen one. He has practically no flaws, and those that are clearly striking are just cute features that cause one emotion.

In a word, it is very difficult to immediately understand that a man is using you.

How to figure out if such doubts have arisen? Psychologists identify 7 dangerous signs of a relationship in which a man only uses a woman, not giving her anything in return.

Money

The most obvious and therefore most unmistakable sign of a relationship in which you are being used. A man may not ask for money directly, but you have to pay for his dentist, buy him a new suit, or redeem tickets to a resort for which he no longer had enough money.

This is not always one hundred percent gigolo. A woman can also be used by a man who is quite stable in the material sense. But why not take what they offer, says such a gentleman. If you are willing to pay for a restaurant, give expensive gifts and insist that it is time for him to change the car, why not? A man who is sincerely passionate about you is unlikely to agree to a humiliating situation for both of you, unlike someone who is not averse to living sweetly at someone else's expense.

Care

Here it is already more difficult to determine who is who. Yes, he did not come to meet you at the airport, but maybe his business meeting was really something super important for his business?

Yes, you are once again dragging seedlings to your mother's dacha in a stuffy train, but perhaps his back really hurts so badly?

The more of these "possibly" in your internal dialogues, the worse things really are.

You’re used to making excuses all the time. Instead of getting used to admiration for his strength, reliability and care.

Indeed, sometimes force majeure happens, and there is no way to come to you to deal with the new tap in the bathroom, but if this happens all the time, he just doesn't care about you. There is no other reason.

Attention

He knows that you adore Chinese cuisine, but he stubbornly drags you to the pizzeria, because there is cheap, and closer to home. You buzzed all over his ears about the premiere with DiCaprio, but he just brushes it off: "Yes, it's complete nonsense, what is there to look at." You dream of going around the whole of Barcelona on foot, but he still takes you to Antalya all-inclusive, because he considers this to be a real vacation, and he does not intend to “beat your legs in vain”.

Is there something similar? Alas, there is nothing to please you - he is with you only because it is beneficial and convenient for him. He will not reckon with your desires, nor try to please you. Dot.

Sex

We can play different games, trying on the roles of either assertive conquerors or allowing innocent lambs to seduce themselves, but from the way a person behaves in bed, one can draw conclusions about his attitude towards you in general.

A partner who does not take into account your wishes in the intimate sphere, selfish, focused only on his own pleasure, is hardly capable of real caring for the rest.

He is not touched by your problems, doubts, fears and even "headache" - he wants one thing: to satisfy only his desires. He is using you, no doubt about it.

Domestic issues

It is not necessary to divide all household chores in half - a man can really be very busy, but if it is impossible to interrogate him to help you with something important or difficult at least sometimes, it is worth considering.

You cook, clean, wash, and he just takes everything for granted? Try to talk to him. Tell me how difficult it is for you to pull everything alone, ask for help directly: on the weekend you need to go to the garage for potatoes, and before your birthday you need to take out and knock out the carpet.

If a man is not indifferent to you, he will try to help you, but if he only uses the benefits that you provide him, he will find a dozen reasons why he cannot do this.

Indifference

You have red eyes from tears after a heartbreaking conversation with a close friend, or you frantically swallow Corvalol in the kitchen after a conflict with your boss, and he just throws you on duty: "Hello, what's for dinner?"

He is not very moved by your experiences. He chuckles at most of them, the rest annoy him. When you feel bad and you need support, you run into a blank wall: "Today is the semifinal, let me watch it calmly."

Little things

The devil, as they say, is in the details. Not remembering your birthday, wedding anniversary or acquaintance, forgetting about your parents and about your allergy to cat hair can only be the one to whom you are indifferent.

It's not about ordinary forgetfulness - at the crazy pace of modern life, you can forget your name too, but accidental punctures and the system are still different from each other.

Jumped out of my head - it does not happen to anyone. The man to whom you are important will apologize and try to smooth over his guilt. The one who does not care whether he keeps silent or dismisses it with annoyance, he also, they say, has found a holiday. And you yourself will go to your parents. And the cat can be patient for a week, it's okay, otherwise Andryukha is at sea, and there is no one to leave.

Any of the following about you? Alas, but you have become a "donor" - you give away warmth, love, tenderness, care, borscht, ironed shirts and your body. Maybe they shared the living space. Maybe they supported me with money. But there is no movement towards you. You are being used. Do not let!

Whether he wants sex, money, a free housekeeper, or satisfies some other emotional need, you can always see signs that he is not interested in you. Even if you really like him, you shouldn't start a relationship with primitive use.

Learn how to recognize signs that he is using you to get away from that partner as soon as possible. Whatever his reasons, actions speak more than words, and sooner or later he will reveal his true essence.

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It does not open

If your instincts say something is wrong, trust them. If you understand that he does not open up to you or is wearing a mask instead of being himself, he may be hiding something, intending to use you. He may have trust issues from a previous relationship, so don't jump to conclusions based on this one sign.

It changes quickly

If at first he looks like the perfect guy, but then suddenly changes, this may be one of the signs that he is using you. When he wants to get your money, he pays first, and when he only wants sex, he will try to give the impression that he likes you, but these masks are always removed. If he's not who you want, just move on.

He speaks but does not demonstrate

It doesn't matter what motives move him in your relationship, it's easy to notice that he is saying the right things, but his actions do not reinforce the words.

Don't fall for his charisma when they are just words you want to hear, if they are not accompanied by action.

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He's busy when you need support.

If you notice that he disappears when you need his support, it could be a sign that he is using you. Date a guy who is only around when sex is scheduled when you buy him something or catering to his needs is not a good idea.

Messages and calls left unanswered because he didn't need anything from you are a wake-up call.

He treats you like a temporary companion.

If your partner is always concerned with how sexy you look when you go somewhere, chances are he just wants to show off. If he is interested in you only because of your beauty or because you are above his level, he will demonstrate his feelings in public, cooling down while you are alone. The other extreme can be a complete rejection of any manifestations of feelings in public, if he only uses you for sex or something else.

He is focused on himself

It is not difficult to notice if he is exclusively concerned with himself, and your feelings are not taken into account. One of the clear signs that he is using you is that he only sometimes pretends to be interested, but in fact it turns out that this is a lie. If any of your conversation boils down to him, he might just be selfish but it can also use you.

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He only compliments when he wants something.

If you feel like he only pays attention to you when he needs something from you, you might want to consider. The habit of turning on your charm when needed and then turning it off again can be an unpleasant signal that shouldn't be ignored.

He doesn't keep promises

If he is not a genius actor, he will not be able to pretend all the time. That he makes promises that he doesn't keep is a sign of being used and not doing well. If he is right there when he needs something, but does not bother much in other situations, it's time to say goodbye to him.

He has not forgotten his ex

He posts your joint photos on social networks and at the same time tells how bad it was with his ex? He can use you for revenge or to show his ex how quickly he was able to move on.

Accidental encounters with his former passion during dates can also be a sign that he doesn't really love you.

He doesn't like "shortcuts"

If he gets nervous when you call him your boyfriend, even though your connection is obvious, then he is most likely using you for sex. Ditch it and don't look back, and next time be more careful in choosing a partner.